You Don’t Have To Believe Everything You Think
Many years ago, a mentor said to me, “you don’t have to believe everything you think'” and added, “a lot of the thoughts aren’t yours anyway. You just pick them up out of the ether or from passers-by”. To be honest, I was a bit sceptical. But it is one of those seed ideas that has stuck with me over the years, and I’ve realised it is very true.
How often does a thought just pop into your head, and you have no idea where it came from? I know it happens to me all the time. Becoming more self-aware helps us to realise this.
Meditation and Journaling
Meditation and journaling can help with this. For a few days, try to note down any stray thoughts that seemingly pop up out of nowhere. Do you sometimes think, ‘I could kill him’ or something similar? It’s very unlikely you really want to kill someone, it’s just a thought that enters your head.
How often do you think things such as, I’m so stupid, I’m too old/young, too fat, too thin, too tired, too technologically challenged etc.? You don’t have to believe those thoughts any more than you believe the thought, ‘I could kill him’.
And if you have a thought that you have absolutely no idea where it came from, it’s probably one you’ve picked up from someone else.
All of these thoughts are just stories we tell ourselves. We don’t have to believe them. What can you do about them?
How To Stop Them
The number one thing is to realise that everyone has strange, weird and wonderful thoughts. Sexual fantasies, violent thoughts, negative thoughts. Even happy, fun thoughts.
It’s not possible to stop thoughts, and usually the more we try, the more persistent they are. Acceptance is the key. Buddhists have a practice of labelling the thoughts. You can just try saying, ‘a mind full of thoughts’ and return to your breath.
Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones
If you find you are having lots of negative thoughts, develop a practice of replacing them with positive thoughts. The more you do this, the more your thoughts will naturally become more positive. It will take a while, but eventually you will realise you have become a much more positive person. Repeat the positive thought over and over as you go about your day.
This doesn’t mean negative thoughts are ‘wrong’ or you shouldn’t have them. They are a natural part of life. They are just not the type of thoughts we want to dwell on, if we want a strong, positive mindset.
Technologically Challenged
‘I’m technologically challenged’ is one of the most common phrases I hear people say online. It’s a story lots of people take as a fact. I believe in most cases this is much more of a mindset issue than a technological issue. People get stressed out, tell themselves they can’t do something and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Their stress causes them to have a mind that won’t work efficiently, it goes blank.
When I need to figure out some new technology, I just follow instructions slowly, carefully, step by step. And it’s rare there is something I can’t get done. YouTube is also a great resource, there’s a video for how to do just about anything, explained in detail.
If you find yourself saying you can’t do something because you suck at technology, just try repeating to yourself, ‘I can learn how to do this’. You may find that you’re not as challenged as you thought you were.
This process can be used to overcome pretty much any limiting belief we have. Just know that you can learn how to do it, and can change your language around the problem. I have managed to lose almost 3 stone in weight, and be alcohol free for 4 years next month, by not believing the thoughts that tell me I can’t do it.
Mindfulness For Busy People
Check out my 21 day email course if you would love to start a regular mindfulness practice but don’t know where to start, or feel you are too busy.
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