This is the 4th in a 15 part series of Month of Mindfulness posts

With mindfulness we are able to be aware of our emotions and observe them without being overwhelmed by them.

Being mindful enables us to take a step back from the emotion and understand it without fearing it or struggling with it.

This can also help to lessen distress, although the aim is to simply observe the emotion non-judgmentally rather than lessen it.

Know Yourself

When working with emotions it can be helpful to observe desires.

From: “I AM THAT” by Nisargadatta Maharaj

19.
“Use your mind. Remember. Observe.
You are not different from others.
Most of their experiences are valid for you too.
Think clearly and deeply,
go into the structure of your desires
and their ramifications.
They are a most important part of your mental
and emotional make-up
and powerfully affect your actions.
Remember, you cannot abandon what you do not know.
To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself.”

How Are You Feeling

When you are feeling an emotion, try to take some time to just focus on your breath. Take your attention to where you are feeling the emotion.  It could be in your tummy, your chest, your throat or elsewhere. Don’t try to change it, just be aware of what and how you are feeling.                                      

What emotion is it?

It may be anger, sadness, anxiousness, irritability, fear, frustration.

Accept the emotion. We all have emotional reactions, it’s normal.

Try to understand how it came about. Did something happen, or someone say something? Maybe an old memory popped up and you were triggered.

Just observe the emotion, and how it is making you feel.

Once you’ve named the emotion, investigate it.

How intense is it?

Is your breathing fast or slow?

What are you feeling in your body? Where do you feel it?

Observe your posture. Has your head dropped, or have you crossed your arms?

Are your muscles tense? Where?

What’s your facial expression?  Does your face feel tense?

Is the emotion changing? Getting stronger or lessening. Remember to observe without judging or trying to change anything.

Watch Your Thoughts Come And Go

Watch your thoughts come and go without judging them. Remember it’s normal human behaviour to have these thoughts and emotions.

Just notice whatever is happening, and bring your attention back non-judgmentally to your breath, and to the physical sensations of the emotion. If it helps, you can say something like, ‘it’s just a mind full of thoughts’.

It can be helpful to use this technique with lesser emotions at first, such as a bit of irritation or with happiness. When you are more experienced, you can use it with intense emotions.

As you bring mindfulness to your emotions you learn that emotions themselves are not the problem: your difficulties come from your relationship to them. You can bring a mindful and kind attention to them all, even the difficult ones such as fear, grief, hatred and jealousy. But focusing on difficult emotions alone can become one-sided. Notice the happy ones and the beautiful ones as well as the painful ones. 

– Jack Kornfield

Rumi The Guest House

Rumi wrote some wonderful words about emotions. This version is by Coleman Barks in The Essential Rumi:

​This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

You can find more poems from Rumi on allspirit.co.uk

These words are really useful for understanding that whatever comes is just part of the human experience. Welcome whatever it is, and learn the lesson it has to share.

Gill Washington does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information