This is the 13th in a 15 part series of Month of Mindfulness posts

The most powerful way to change the world is to live in the front of our children the way we would like the world to be.

-Graham White

Anyone who is a parent knows it is both the most rewarding and the most challenging job. Being a mindful parent can help you to get through the difficult times with more ease, and greater enjoyment of the good times.

Sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, childhood illnesses, teenage petulance, to name just a few of the tests. It is no wonder that even the most laid back parents some times lose it. It is easy to become stressed out and overwhelmed.

Stress And Overwhelm

The following is from an article on childmind.org:

“When parents become stressed that stress becomes contagious; children know when their parents are tense and overwhelmed. In fact, according to Dr. Amy Saltzman, a holistic physician and mindfulness coach (and creator of the Still Quiet Place CDs for Young Children and Teens), “Data shows that the greatest source of childhood and adolescent stress is not school work, extracurricular activities, or peer pressure, but parental stress.” So being a good parent means learning to manage your own stress.”

We looked at stress in an earlier post in this series, How Mindfulness Reduces Stress, and most of the 15 posts in this series touch on stress in some way.

Mindfulness For Busy People

Of course it can seem impossible to find time for yourself when you have parenting duties, work responsibilities, home chores and a social life to manage. I’m not saying it will be easy, but I can promise it will be well worth it to fit some mindfulness practice into your daily life. The benefits will more than recompense for any time you spend.

If you want to learn more about how you can gain maximum benefit from mindfulness with minimal time expenditure, check out my Mindfulness For Busy People mini course to learn how I can help.

Children Watch And Learn

If your children see you doing a mindfulness exercise, they are likely to ask you what you are doing. Explain to them simply you are practicing being mindful. Tell them how it helps you to be a calmer parent.

Encourage them to do a little breathing exercise with you, but don’t force them. If they say they don’t want to, just let it go. As they see you getting calmer, they may want to give it a go. Let it happen when they are ready. Just breathing in and out two or three times can give them a taster.

If you are in the garden or a park, try looking at a leaf and describing it in great detail. Ask them how it looks, feels, smells. Go into as much detail as possible. Try to just focus completely on the leaf in the present moment.

Respond Don’t React

Being a mindful parent is about being present and being aware in a non-judgmental way.

As always with mindfulness, we are learning to respond rather than react. If your toddler (or teen) has a temper tantrum and you respond with a tantrum of your own, they are learning that it is ok to behave that way. Instead, try to take a deep breath before saying anything at all. Just that pause can help you to calm down.

Try to listen to why your child is upset. Children sometimes find it difficult to express themselves. Even older children may not be able to explain exactly what is going on with them.

Whatever age they are, children are still learning (as are we all). Allow them to learn. Allow them to make mistakes without getting frustrated with them. Let them spill their food, button their cardigan the wrong way, make spelling mistakes without getting angry. See it as part of their growth. Just keep encouraging them.

Continue Your Own Practice

When you continue with your own regular mindfulness practice, mindful parenting will become much easier. You will be more calm and balanced and will be setting an excellent example for your children. The whole family will benefit from this.

Gill Washington does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information